#1 The judges laughed hysterically at your HI because they thought it was funny.
#2 Writing your speech the night before the tournament means you won't break.
#3 Memorizing your speech the minute before the round means you won't break. :)
#4 Giving a 15 minute speech means you won’t be ranked first.
#5 Having 3 apologetics cards means you have no chance of getting those questions in a round.
#6 You can't break with a script.
#7 If an interp is by Shakespeare, you automatically move up one rank.
#8 Expos is a great extra event to add the week before the tournament.
#9 Expos boards can't be made the night before the tournament.
#10 You have to give a speech word-for-word... Or else!
#11 In impromptu, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you talk for five minutes.
#12 If you are first in room, you have to show up right away.
#13 A judge has never given a speech on abortion lower than second place.
#14 Giving a good apologetics speech involves using as many scripture references as possible.
#15 During an impromptu speech, you should stuff the prompt in your pocket. You’ll remember it at the end of the speech.
#16 You should only say “I have three points” at the beginning of an impromptu if you actually have three points ready.
#17 If you are last in a room you don’t need to show up for a while.
#18 If an HI isn't very funny, or a DI isn't very dramatic, you should just move it to OI.
#19 Impromptu is a speech event where you try to come up with three related stories in two minutes.
#20 Extemp makes a perfect fifth speech event.
#21 Speech outlines are for noobs.
#22 Fifth & below is probably just a fifth.
#23 The judge will vote for you if you tell them you’re a novice at the beginning of the 1AR.
#24 Advanced debaters never lose to novices.
#25 Novices never beat advanced debaters in outrounds by a 3-0 decision.
#26 Good debaters spend hours rehearsing the delivery of their 1AC.
#27 Most debaters have active social lives completely unrelated to debate.
#28 The more debater terminology you use in a round, the smarter you sound!
#29 LD is just about speaker points. You don't need to prepare.
#30 The bigger the evidence box, the more intimidating you look.
#31 Debaters in the other league/state/region are pretty weird.
#32 Flowing is what judges do best.
#33 In TP, most judges expect you to run topicality.
#34 American flag pins subtly express the undying patriotism of your case.
#35 The "we reserve the right to clarify upon this plan in future speeches" clause means you can pretty much say whatever you want for the rest of the TP round.
#36 When a judge says the round was close, they are just saying that to make the losing team feel better.
#37 When you bring up a counter definition your opponent is doomed to accept it.
#38 Wearing a cartoon character tie aids your credibility.
#39 Food and sleep are necessary to survive a five day tournament.
#40 Tab lounges around until about five minutes before breaks.
#41 The "cute factor" is a myth.
#42 Reading your ballots during the after party is a good idea.
#43 The judges will notice if you accidentally wear slippers or tennis shoes into a round.
#44 The timer is infallible.
#45 If you are last in a room you don’t need to show up for a while.
#46 Spending 9 hours in the car with your family driving to a tournament will be a bonding experience.
#47 Finding buildings and rooms on a college campus is pretty easy
#48 Dress shoes and running shoes are fairly equal when it comes to walking.
#49 Ballots are the pinnacle of human achievements in penmanship.
#50 Matching suits will make you win in team events.