Trying To Tell People That You Aren't A Champion Debater

You know how people who know nothing about the wild world of speech and debate really don't get interps? Well, they have the same problem with debate. I've tried explaining debate to people: "Well, there's this thing called the resolution that says 'Resolved' and then it like, states something that's resolved, only it's not really that resolved 'cause they still have to argue about it, 'they' being these two teams and one's affirmative and they're like 'w00t! Yea! The Resolution! We love that guy!' and then the Negative is like 'Dude, the Resolution sucks and here's why,' and then they argue about it and stuff."

Sometimes some of them come out with some kind of misleading misconception that resembles understanding following my oversimplified, run-on explanation, but most of them are just more confused. However, something that none of the people I talk to can seem to grasp is that I am not a champion debater. (They have not read my Confessions of a Non-Debater, apparently.) Just the other day, this guy who helps out at my youth group asked me how many debates I've won since the last time I saw him. "Umm... none." He enjoys telling people about all the trophies I win regularly from debate and how I win $50,000 or so on a weekly basis from debate (but with taxes and whatnot it comes down to about 7). I really don't know where he gets this stuff.

People just tend to assume that if you do speech, you do debate (because they're the same thing, right?) and since you're soo brave because you do debate, you must be really good at it. And then you have to explain that you didn't win your last tournament, or that you don't debate at all, and that's kinda awkward. By the way, if you're a non-debater who does impromptu, just explain that instead and they'll be way impressed.

Of course, some of you actually are champion debaters who do not understand the ways of us mere mortals. Pssshhh... whatever.

On second thought, I should just let my friends and acquaintances live on in their blissful ignorance and keep assuming I am a debate champion. Yes. Plus I have a ton of experience now anyway [/sarcasm] so I'm obviously well on my way to becoming a champion.

You are homeschooled. You are a champion.