Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Debater's Christmas Wishlist

It's late December, and Christmas is almost here, and if you're not listening to Christmas music, then I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. I love all kinds Christmas music, even the kinds homeschoolers aren't supposed to listen to, like Last Christmas, All I Want For Christmas is You and Baby, It's Cold Outside, and all those other Christmas love songs I know I'm horrible it's okay please don't judge me I love Jesus songs too. Wait, I'm judging you first for not listening to Christmas music at all, so ha. Unless you're listening the The Hobbit soundtrack, which is supposed to be good. I haven't seen the film yet. Or listened to the music. Don't judge me for that either.

Oh gosh, what was I talking about? Clearly I've had too much hot chocolate. Hold on, I know the title of the post is around here somewhere... oh yea! "A Debater's Christmas Wishlist." To be honest, I thought of the name for this post well before I thought of anything a debater might want for Christmas, but that's okay. It shouldn't be too hard.

If you're a debater, you're probably asking for one or all of these things for Christmas:
  • A case
  • Two cases if you're an LDer
  • Another flowpad because you're out of canvases for your impeccable argumentation
  • Pens that write really tiny so you can flow faster and write in more responses
  • Lessons in ambidexterity so you can write in even more responses
  • Half a zillion Post-It notes
  • Ink and paper. For the printer.
  • A rolly debate bag or giant box for the evidences. Especially if your partner broke his box, like my partner did, but now I don't have to worry about that because in LD you can carry everything you need in two folders with cupcakes on them like I do.
  • Folders with cupcakes on them so we can match.
  • Fake glasses if you don't wear them already to make you look smart
  • A solvency advocate for your wacky plan ideas
  • A definition of privacy that actually sounds like privacy
  • A sweater with reindeers all over it. Because reindeers are cool.
  • A guide to exactly what every single judge in Stoa and/or the NCFCA is looking for
  • A guide to the pronunciation of weird names because people who write evidence usually have weird names
  • Membership to a magical website that spews out beyond-brilliant applications that none of your fellow competitors know about or have even heard of
  • The top slot on speechranks
  • A caselist with every case that everyone ever is planning on running this year organized by tournament so that you know what they're running before they do and you can be prepared
Bonus! All the cool kids in speech are asking for:
  • Scripts
  • Instant-memorization potion
  • The best impromptu examples ever
  • An extemp box that's bigger on the inside and fills itself
  • C.S. Lewis to write your Apologetics cards
  • The ability to have everyone always pronounce your name correctly at breaks
  • Expos boards that never break or collapse mid-round
You can feel free to get me all of those things for Christmas. I try to make it easy for people. It's because I care about you. You're welcome.

What do YOU, as a speecher, debater, whatever, want for Christmas?

You're homeschooled, and I wish you the best!

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