Saturday, February 16, 2013

Myths about Speech and Debate that Novices Believe- Stephen Roe and Brandon Banda

(Stephen and Brandon are two of my favorite Stoa alumni. They're hilarious. I'm sure you'll agree after reading this post. Want to write a guest post? Click here.)


#1 The judges laughed hysterically at your HI because they thought it was funny.

#2 Writing your speech the night before the tournament means you won't break.

#3 Memorizing your speech the minute before the round means you won't break. :)

#4 Giving a 15 minute speech means you won’t be ranked first.

#5 Having 3 apologetics cards means you have no chance of getting those questions in a round.

#6 You can't break with a script.

#7 If an interp is by Shakespeare, you automatically move up one rank.

#8 Expos is a great extra event to add the week before the tournament.

#9 Expos boards can't be made the night before the tournament.

#10 You have to give a speech word-for-word... Or else!

#11 In impromptu, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you talk for five minutes.

#12 If you are first in room, you have to show up right away.

#13 A judge has never given a speech on abortion lower than second place.

#14 Giving a good apologetics speech involves using as many scripture references as possible.

#15 During an impromptu speech, you should stuff the prompt in your pocket. You’ll remember it at the end of the speech.

#16 You should only say “I have three points” at the beginning of an impromptu if you actually have three points ready.

#17 If you are last in a room you don’t need to show up for a while.

#18 If an HI isn't very funny, or a DI isn't very dramatic, you should just move it to OI.

#19 Impromptu is a speech event where you try to come up with three related stories in two minutes.

#20 Extemp makes a perfect fifth speech event.

#21 Speech outlines are for noobs.

#22 Fifth & below is probably just a fifth.


#23 The judge will vote for you if you tell them you’re a novice at the beginning of the 1AR.

#24 Advanced debaters never lose to novices.

#25 Novices never beat advanced debaters in outrounds by a 3-0 decision.

#26 Good debaters spend hours rehearsing the delivery of their 1AC.

#27 Most debaters have active social lives completely unrelated to debate.

#28 The more debater terminology you use in a round, the smarter you sound!

#29 LD is just about speaker points. You don't need to prepare.

#30 The bigger the evidence box, the more intimidating you look.

#31 Debaters in the other league/state/region are pretty weird.

#32 Flowing is what judges do best.

#33 In TP, most judges expect you to run topicality.

#34 American flag pins subtly express the undying patriotism of your case.

#35 The "we reserve the right to clarify upon this plan in future speeches" clause means you can pretty much say whatever you want for the rest of the TP round.

#36 When a judge says the round was close, they are just saying that to make the losing team feel better.

#37 When you bring up a counter definition your opponent is doomed to accept it.


#38 Wearing a cartoon character tie aids your credibility.

#39 Food and sleep are necessary to survive a five day tournament. 

#40 Tab lounges around until about five minutes before breaks.

#41 The "cute factor" is a myth.

#42 Reading your ballots during the after party is a good idea.

#43 The judges will notice if you accidentally wear slippers or tennis shoes into a round.

#44 The timer is infallible.

#45 If you are last in a room you don’t need to show up for a while. 

#46 Spending 9 hours in the car with your family driving to a tournament will be a bonding experience.

#47 Finding buildings and rooms on a college campus is pretty easy

#48 Dress shoes and running shoes are fairly equal when it comes to walking.

#49 Ballots are the pinnacle of human achievements in penmanship.

#50 Matching suits will make you win in team events.

No comments:

Post a Comment