Saturday, April 16, 2011

English Country Line Dancing pt II

Approaches for Asking a Girl To Dance- Scorecard

It's time. What time? Go time. You are at an English Country Ball and the caller has just asked you to grab a partner. It's go time.
What now? If you're a girl, you're probably staring down the guys around you, hoping one of them will ask you. If you're a guy... well, I don't know what you're thinking. But I know how you act...
Here are a bunch of ways one could be asked to dance and maybe you have, or perhaps employed these methods. Keep track of your points, if you like. It's fun.

1. The "Why Not?" Approach +10
So, we kinda both need partners and we're kinda standing right next to each other... *shoulders shrug, offers arm if real gentleman * Why not? Note: This approach can also be know as the One More Time? if you've just finished dancing with that person. I know the caller said don't ask anyone to dance twice, but why not?
2. The "I-already-knew-you-were-going-to-say-yes-so-I'll-just-stick-out-my-hand-as-a-way-of-asking" Method +10
No words necessary. Just music.
3. First-Name Basis +5
I know this guy who, almost every time he asks me to dance, looks up (or down, rather) and says, "Chandler?" And then I nod and say his name as a sort of confirmation and away we go.
4. Shy Guy +10
My friend's little brother does this to me all the time. It's great. Stuttering and refusing to make eye contact... how could I say no to that? One time, we did a weird dance where each guy needed two female partners and he shuffled over to me and said, "Would you like to be... one of them? Wow, this is really awkward." Again, how could I say no? I didn't.
5. The "Eye Contact From Across The Room" Technique +10
This is not as romantic as it sounds, but it could be if you pull it off, I guess. Fortunately, when this happened to me, it was just sort of a "Oh hey. I know you." kind of thing. He made his way through a crowd of people and officially asked me to dance but he didn't really have to because hello? we already made eye contact. There was no going back now, unless you're just being a jerk but we'll talk about that later.
6. "Do you already have a partner?" +10
Well, now you do!
7. The Not-Cold Shoulder +5
You've heard of a cold shoulder, like someone ignoring you. Well, apparently if you touch a girl's shoulder, she's sure to dance with you. Primarily this is a tapping of the shoulder. But one time the caller said grab a partner and the kid who had already asked me to dance (using method #6, by the way) grabbed my shoulder and I was like, what? and he was like, she said I grab a partner. and I was like, but does it have to be your partner? and then he like reached over and was about to grab some random kid. And he/she would have had to dance with him, had he touched the shoulder.
8. The Arranged Marriage Approach -10 (unless you're thrilled with the arrangement. Then +15)
Every girl wants to be a matchmaker for her friends. My charming acquaintances often go so far as to arrange dance partners for me because "How adorable is that!" -.- Now, this poor kid is stuck with me all the time. It's like an arranged marriage but for the Virginia Reel instead of for life.
9. The Kid You Always Dance With +5
I have two of these. One is Shy Guy. (4.) I think I'm one of the only girls he feels comfortable asking. (barely) Oh, besides his sister. The other is the arranged fiancé. (8.) We've been "partnered" at least three times. Awwkwarrdd
10. The "Brother-Sister" Method  +15
My biggest regret in life is not having an older brother. Not that I had any say in the matter. But if I had a brother, older or younger, I would absolutely want him to ask me to dance. This kid I know asks his sister to dance all the time and it's so. cool. The outside world finds it creepy, but not us homeschoolers. Or me, anyway.
11. The Lameo "Brother-Sister" Method -10
If you ask your sister to dance because you're too shy to ask anyone else or there is no one else or something... Yea, no. Negative points. Unless you saved her from being a wallflower.  Then you can go with the non-lameo brothers.
12. "My Sister Made Me" -5
At a dance one time, I didn't have a partner. I was standing next to this girl and her brother when a kid asked the girl to dance. Before she was whisked away, she whispered something in her brother's ear. He asked me to dance shortly after. Hmm... Wonder what she said... Guys, if you tell your partner someone made you ask her, you can kiss an additional 15 points goodbye. Fortunately, my partner did not. Poor guy. He was so shy.
13. Mr. Popular +10 for girls, -10 for guys
This guy drives me nuts. Often when the caller says, "Find a partner!" I feel like I have to stare down a bunch of guys until one of them comes and asks me. (Note to self: Does staring look intimidating? Maybe that's why they don't ask...) There's always this group of guys who stand in a circle and laugh and joke and smile and I think, "How can you laugh and joke and smile at a time like this?? You're supposed to be finding a partner! And I'm right here!" Eventually, Mr. Popular will maybe ask me to dance. Maybe. At the last possible second. If I stare reaallyy hard. Girls get points for waiting. Guys lose points for making us wait. </3
14. The Only Other Kid Without A Partner -10
Don't you love when this happens to you? Me neither. More like Mr. Un-Popular.
15. The Just-Go-Ahead-And-Assume-She's-Your-Partner Approach -5
Sometimes, guys doesn't even ask. They just look at you and say, "Let's go stand over there." Oh... ok.
16. The Supersly Secretninjafox Method +10 for girls, +0 for clueless guys, +5 for guys that notice
I must admit, I do this all. the. time. I know you gentlemen probably think that since it's your job to ask a girl to dance, you have control over who you ask. This is often not the case. A girl may spot a guy she'd like to dance with and then go stand right next to him and talk and laugh with him so he has to ask her (note: sometimes guys are jerks and refuse to cooperate). I do this. I am that sneaky. As sneaky as a supersly secretninjafox. Oh. Recently, I was explaining this very post to a friend of mine. He said he had no method of asking girls to dance and that girls just come to him. I told him his head was too big. What I didn't tell him was that he was right. (He is now reading this, perhaps softly aloud to himself, and giggling.) I think girls have fear of not having a partner, so we do everything we can to get one. (Note: see 29.) Attention GIRLS: this approach does not work if the potential partner in question is one of the elite demonstrators. Learned that one the hard way.
17. The Super Cute 6-year Old +5
No girl will say no to him, unless she has a partner, but even then there are no guarantees. So if you are or can somehow be this kid... awesome.
18. The Method of Dancing Nearly Every Dance With the Same Girl So She's Sort of Your Partner by Default +5
...yup. Sort of a cross between "One More Time?" (1.) and just assuming she's your partner. (15.)
19. NevereverEVER Asking Some Girl to Dance and Then Randomly Asking +10
So I was talking to a good friend of mine who saw this post before, and she asked, "Who was the first name guy (3.)?" and I said, "Oh, this guy." and she said, "Oh that guy. I figured it was either him or thattt guy." and I said, "Well, he would do that too, but that guy has never asked me to dance." Then, in that moment, I was struck with a horrid realization: That guy had never asked me to dance! :O :'( </3 What was up with that? I should have gone all Ninjafox (16) on him. So yea. Ask girls you never ask.
20. The Awkward Turtles Approach -5
You, the girl, are standing around with a few of your friends. Waiting. Patiently. Or so it appears. You're really not all that patient. Suddenly, wait! There's a guy! He's walking over here! But who is he going to ask? *begin the awkward ten second stare-down where he finally gives up and asks the girl closest to him *
21. The Gentleman +15
This guy does it right. He "will go up to a girl and ask her politely, and gentlemanly, if she would care to 'have this dance' with him... He is an expert dancer, so the lady will [probably] accept, and dance with him. 9 times out of 10, her acceptance is accompanied by a... smile... [Immediately begins] a flood of comfortable small talk and the thrill of the dance."
22: The "Caveman" Method -10
"Hey you, you dance with me." I'm told this only works for debate partners. Guys, if you drag her out by her hair, you can just lose how ever many points you have now.
23. The Greeting-Your-Friend-Just-As-You-Are-Supposed-to-Find-a-Partner Technique +5
Girl: "Hi!" Guy: "Hi... Oh! So, uh... do you want to be my partner?"
24. The Involuntary Partner Swap -5
"Hey, wait, who are you? I thought I was dancing with... that girl. Over there. Apparently you two switched places... oh."

Bonus: Sadie Hawkins Style
25. The Adorable Little Girl +5
I love this kid. She comes up to me and says, "Chandler, would you like to be my partner? But can you be the boy? I don't like being the boy." Aww, of course I'll be the boy! :D
26. Really Shy Guy -10
Remember the kid who's sister told him to dance with me? (12) Well, I saw him again and I had no partner again but this time his sister was gone and so I had to ask him to dance 'cause he was just standing there and still has not gotten over his shyness.
27. Jerk-Face -15
This guy is much like Mr. Popular (13.), only worse. He's so preoccupied that the lady has to actually ask him to dance. Often times he even makes eye contact and doesn't care. Ugh. Rude. +20 if you throw punch and/or lemonade on his nice suit. Just keep in mind that you will never again be invited to a dance, ladies.
28. Asking The Guy Who's Totally Zoning Out And Not Paying Any Attention -10
"Wait, we're starting? Oh, ok."
29. Grabbing A Guy's Arm Arm And Literally Dragging Him Over To Make Him Dance With You +15
I have never done this, but I kind of want to and I kind of really don't. +10 if you hold a gun to his head or something. That always works.
30. Forcing Your Brother To Dance With You +5 for the sister, -10 for the brother
Don't feel bad. He should've asked you anyway.
31. Dancing With A BFF +10 for girls only
"We don't need no stinking boys! We got each other! ...Wait, can you actually be the boy? I don't like being the boy."

So that's the list. Any additions? What did you score? I got 95.

You're homeschooled, and you still like dancing.

(p.s. I had lots of input and hilarious ideas from great people who read this post before. They specifically voiced ideas for 20-24 and other additions elsewhere. Thank you, great people! :D)


  1. I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCHHHHHH!! =) Who was the girl you were talking to in # 19? Thanks for adding to the hilarity--I can relate to so many of these! =P


  2. Haha just remembered 28 & 29 got done to me. Is that bad? ;) I gotta 75 .There's also the one where you go completely out of character, brave your fears, and right away ask the first girl you see smiling to dance (even though you have no idea HOW to dance), begin to feel all confident and and cool like, and then find out that she is teacher's daughter, and probably the best dancer you will ever meet... that's gotta be atleast a fifteen :) Really though, hilarious post, loved it. Definitely the highlight of the whole day!

  3. Haha just remembered 28 & 29 got done to me. Is that bad? ;) I gotta 75 .There's also the one where you go completely out of character, brave your fears, and right away ask the first girl you see smiling to dance (even though you have no idea HOW to dance), begin to feel all confident and and cool like, and then find out that she is teacher's daughter, and probably the best dancer you will ever meet... that's gotta be atleast a fifteen :) Really though, hilarious post, loved it. Definitely the highlight of the whole day!

  4. How can you be more than one? I tend to be #21, but every once in a while I'm #14 or #9.

    How many points do you get if girls are "fighting" over who gets to dance with you? A few months ago, I was at the after-party for my Drama Club, and there was dancing. I went up to a girl I know (I'll call her Alice) and asked, "May I have this dance?" She said, "Wait, they're starting the next one? I thought they said they were taking a five minute break. Which one is it?"
    "The Virginia Reel"
    She walked quickly over to the dance floor. I wasn't sure if that was a yes or a no, so I followed her closely enough that if it was a yes she could find me, but far enough away that if it was a no I could ask someone else. The caller asked who knew the dance and could demonstrate. I raised my hand, and out of the eight guys that were chosen to demonstrate, I was set as the head guy. Alice and another girl I know (who I'll call Rachael) both raised their hands, and the caller chose Rachael to be my partner. Alice was second. Alice then said to Rachael, "We need to switch places."
    R- "But I'm the head lady."
    A- "But I'm supposed to be dancing with Jared."
    R- "No you're not, I am."
    A- "No, I'm supposed to dance with him."
    R- "But we're the head couple."
    A- "Then Jared can switch with my partner."
    R- "But he's the head guy."
    A- "My partner can be the head guy."
    A's partner- "I don't know the dance that well."
    A- "Then I have to be the head lady."
    R- "But I'm the head lady."
    A- "But I need to dance with Jared."
    R- "No, I need to dance with Jared."

    Even if I had had any clue as to what I was supposed to say, I wouldn't have been able to get a word in. Eventually Rachael gave in and Alice was head lady (And I danced with Rachael later that night). But how many points is that worth?

  5. You can be a different one for a different dance.

    Oh my. That sounds exciting. That's gotta be at least 12 points if not more.