Stereotyping Competitors Based On Their Events

Sometimes I'm tempted to stereotype our competitors based on events. Which is what I decided to call this post. "Stereotyping Competitors Based On Their Events." Snazzy, right?


Anyway, I'm not sure when this started, but I guess it did. It couldn't have been my novice year, because I didn't really know anything then. Maybe this year. Or last year. Either way, at some point in my life, I got into the habit of anthropomorphizing each IE and debate event. These personifications are basically descriptions of what the people in them probably do and say. Are they accurate? Well, see for yourself:


TPers like to talk fast, give arguments that make sense half the time but always sound really intelligent, and argue about anything and everything. LDers, on the other hand, are incredibly philosophic and don't have to say much at all for you to hold them in the highest respect because whatever they just said with those big, smart-sounding words has got to be true. People who do Impromptu, much like TPers, never stop talking. They could talk about anything and everything and know all kinds of historical figures like the back of their hands and Never. Stop. Talking about them. People who do Apologetics can also talk at length, but about really important things that would hurt the Impromptu people's brains, like the meaning of the monotheistically-given decalogue found in the pentateuch and its relation to soteriology and the parsimonious idiosyncratic significance thereof and you'll be way too confused to realize that that last sentence didn't make any sense at all. The Extempers are also really confusing, but they like to talk about entire countries you've never heard of and all sorts of breaking news that will probably be in the papers a week from now because they are that on top of things. The DI people cry a lot; the HI people laugh a lot; the OI people don't do anything except, I don't know, open doors and drawers and other things. Boxes, maybe. The Persuasive people are passionately convicted in every area imaginable and want you to be passionately convicted as well. The Original Oratory speakers talk and talk and talk much like the Impromptu-ers, but not about people- they just talk about abstract concepts, kind of like the LDers, but the OOers are way easier to understand. The Expos people fidget nervously if they aren't holding or pointing at anything. And the people who do Wildcards are kind of what the event sounds like: wild and bouncing off the walls. Very impulsive. Kinda seems like you'd have to be to do an event that only lasts a year.

Do you know anyone who fits any of those categories? Yea, you might. Like two people. I know one guy who's the TPer. Ok, two guys, but one actually did LD so he probably shouldn't count. There is, of course, the annoying fact that the vast majority of CHSADKs compete in more than one event. Then again, we already knew that interpers have multiple personalities, so I guess it's ok to fit more than one stereotype.


So yea. Basically, these stereotypes probably are not all that true ever, but isn't that what's fun? Like I mentioned recently, anybody can do speech and debate. Sure, we're a lot alike in a lot of ways. But we're all crazy and different, and that's cool.


You're homeschooled, so you're probably crazy too.