Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Student Snack Table- Hannah Socolofsky

(Pleaaasssee welcome, one of my good friends who is not only fantastic, but one of this here blog's very first readers: Hannah Socolofskyyyyy!)
The student snack table at tournaments is the light of my existence.  And the bane of my existence, too.  But we won’t go there.  *herm*
If you’re a CHSADK, you’ve probably at least seen, if not taken advantage of, the student snack table.  I mean, come on!  Who doesn’t like a table that has tiny cups of food on it and smiling ladies sitting there behind it???  You’d have to be crazy not to occasionally hang out by The Table.  
There are five types of people at tournaments:  

1.The Glutton
Another name for this person is . . . well, me.  This is the person who takes way too many little cups of Cheez-its and pretzels and red vines . . . simply because they are there.  You’re not necessarily hungry.  You’re not necessarily bored.  You see food.  You nab it.  It’s an instinct.  

2. The Sharer
This is the person who oh-so-very kindly takes only one or two dixie cups of food and gives one to a friend.  This just about makes the day of the person on the receiving end.  Also, the less food you take from The Table, the more there is for others.  See?  Sharing skills.  

3. The Food Snob
This is the person who doesn’t even know that the snack table exists, and even when they do, don’t take advantage of it.  They have a cooler full of yummy snacks they’re familiar with.  There’s a Jamba Juice around the corner.  Who needs infinitesimal cups filled with unhealthy junk food?  

4. The Stalker
This person usually has radar attached to their head.  Whenever the student snack table moves, they freak out until their radar locates it again.  Once The Table is found, their peace of mind is back.  (NOTE:  See # 1) 
I have yet to meet a stalker, but I’m sure there’s one out there.  I mean, I have a momentary heart attack every time I see the snack table gone.  My mind goes into panic survival mode as it gasps for lack of junk food.  Surely I’m not the only one.  Right?  RIGHT??  *sighs* Ratz.  

5. The Sneaker
No, I don’t mean the shoe.  This is a different sneaker.  It’s a sneak-er.  This is the person who always feels slight guilty going to the snack table because they know that their mom would have a heart attack if she knew what they were filling up on.  Because they never get these snacks at home, they gorge on them at tournaments.  Do you do this?  Viola.  You are a Sneaker.   
The student snack table was a brilliant idea.  There is food.  Kids work hard at tournaments.  They need sustenance.  Hence, the student snack table.  The ladies kindly sit there in the hot sun refilling Dixie cups all day simply for the benefit of the students.  How kind is that?  
Next time you see the student snack table, go up and thank the ladies for what they do.  Where would you be without them?  Yes, that’s right.  You would be rummaging in your cooler, eating HEALTHY stuff.  Blecchhkk.  
You’re homeschooled.  Eat yourself into a food coma.  

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